Saturday 9 February 2013

Strength to lean


The past few months have been valuable for me. I have been in a constant state of learning, and expanding my lens through which I see the world and people around me. In many of the sessions, discussions or even moments or words that I later ponder on, I realize that these life lessons that I am learning are going to reach into my future in ways that I cannot predict or fathom right now.

A few years ago, when I would worry about things, a good friend of mine would encourage me to be 100% present in every moment. I have never forgotten that gem of advice. In the fellowship, I have had many instances when I am stopped dead in my tracks by a moment of thankfulness to be here, and be around amazing people everyday. It is like I manage to get off the relentless treadmill of life for a moment, and savor the wonder and blessing I am living in, which is so easy to become blind to each day.

Last week at the end of a group session, we had to stand in a tight circle, shoulder to shoulder and feel the sense of 'leaning in' to each other. The facilitators, Bruce and Bette, ended off the session by getting us to say "I am strong, when you are strong." They also described the group as a system that functions effectively together.  I started thinking about what all of this meant.

I realized that we can only survive if we lean into the people around us, and realize that as we are leaning, we are also holding each other up. We are entrusted with recognizing and holding the value that we all bring to the team. This value does not stem merely from our education, our backgrounds, our ideas or even our experience, but from the value we bring as people. Giving yourself permission to 'lean in' is hard, because it requires trust. This trust often comes by allowing yourself a certain amount of vulnerability, which contrary to popular belief, requires a great amount of strength.


As a group of ten strong leaders, I think it is sometimes hard to admit to ourselves that we need others, and even more so that we need each other. I am learning that this year is a sort of 'training ground' for my growth, but at the same time, it is not about me at all - it is not even about us. It is about the impact we want to have on the world and people around us. It is also about the lessons we learn during this process. If this is then true, then my next thoughts are: How do I empower those around me for success? How do I give those around me space to lead? How do I give others space to make mistakes? How do I do all of these for myself, especially in the light of the realization that it is not about me?

I am thankful to have these questions answered daily by those I am in contact with who embody authentic leadership and who have learnt how to allow others to develop and move towards success. These lessons I learn, not from what these people say or do, but from who they are.

Thus, we learn; we dream; we ask; we stumble; we fail; we move forward; we examine; we ponder; we speak; we listen; we laugh, but most importantly...we grow. As we grow in trust, in honesty and even in vulnerability, we grow in strength.


(Music Fest 2012, in Philadelphia in December - an awesome experience where I got to play with and teach amazing young musicians, alongside great fellows of past years: Alysia Lee, Avi Mehta, Jose' Luis Hernandez-Estrada as well as some of my current fellows, Andrea Landin and Sara Zanussi).


About Me

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Monique Van Willingh is currently a Sistema Fellow at the New england conservatory of Music (Boston, USA). The programme studies the model of the Venzeulen programme, El Sistema, which uses music as a vehicle for social change. Monique graduated in 2009 with a Bachelor of Music degree in Jazz Performance (with Distinction in Flute), and in 2011 with a Classical Honours from the University of Cape Town. Monique is a resourceful flautist, who is proficient in both the Classical and Jazz genres of music. Monique was the 2010 winner of the Fine Music Radio and Pick n Pay Music Award in the Jazz Category and was also awarded the ImpACT Award for Young Professionals in Jazz Music by the Arts and Culture Trust (2010). She was recently chosen as a finalist in the SAMRO Music competition (jazz category) and received the SAMRO/Bonhams Award at the competition. Monique was a member of the National Youth Jazz Band (2010), and in 2009, she was selected as the Principal Flautist of the MIAGI Youth Orchestra, which toured Europe in 2012. Two passions central to her life are music and youth development.